Witch Got Your Tongue?
by Rie Sonomura
Summary: Palutena couldn't believe the audacity of the Umbran Witch. Kissing her to shut her up, and then saying she talks too much for her own good! ... But truth be told, she didn't hate it. Quite the opposite, in fact. [Bayotena. Side mention of Falconcina, hints of Palumon.]


**YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS it's femslash/yuri/GL/wlw time, AND writing a rarepair to boot!**

**This here be Bayotena (Bayonetta x Palutena) with of course a side of Falconcina (Captain Falcon x Lucina, yes I know that's het but anything goes for sidepairs I say) And maybe a one sided hint of Palumon (Simon x Palutena). This is unbeta'd as it's pretty short. also I am LIVING for snark and banter in a relationship dynamic so you bet there will be that**

**Content warnings: strong language, suggestive dialogue**

**And there's a reference to _Hiding in my Skin, Broken from Within _in here, from the penultimate chapter sooo**

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**_Witch Got Your Tongue?_**

"...And another thing -"

Palutena was then interrupted by something she hadn't anticipated.

Bayonetta closed the distance between herself and the goddess and kissed her on the lips. Palutena was, to say the least, surprised by the witch taking initiative and interrupting her like... _this_.

Palutena realized that in hindsight, she should have seen this coming. This was the Umbran Witch, Bayonetta, who would flirt with practically everything that moved. Even back when the Smashers were trying to escape Galeem and Dharkon's realm and head home, when Bayonetta offered she and Palutena team up to vanquish those beings, Palutena knew Bayonetta was expecting something in return.

But she wouldn't have minded. After all, something about Bayonetta was just... _irresistible_.

And in this moment, she couldn't resist the witch's charm for long, as the surprise faded and she slowly closed her eyes.

She was... enjoying the moment.

...Enjoying it? She was shocked that she felt this way, as she was usually into men. She had her eyes on that buff blonde Belmont for quite a while, who was a holy man to boot, but here she was, falling for a woman of the dark arts.

Perhaps she was... curious? Yes, that had to be it. She wouldn't accept any other explanation.

...Would she?

Once she was done, Bayonetta broke the kiss and backed away from Palutena, whose eyes were still closed, a dreamy look on her face.

"...Hello?" Bayonetta inquired in a slightly sassy tone. "Earth to Goddess?"

"Huh...?" Palutena slowly opened her eyes, her mind still hazy from that wildly tempting kiss, before faintly gasping, holding her left hand to her mouth as her eyes widened in shock and she blushed deeply.

"Oh? What's the matter?" Bayonetta teased in a very coquettish tone, a subtly seductive look in her eyes. "Witch got your tongue?"

"I..." Palutena stammered, before lowering her hand from her mouth and balling it into a fist as she complained, "What was _that_ for?!"

"I just wanted to shut you up, goddess," Bayonetta snarked, grinning in a smug manner. "You talk too much for your own good sometimes."

"Excuse me?!" Palutena couldn't believe the audacity of the witch. And yet... she just couldn't bring herself to actually hate Bayonetta. "Then... why'd you... you know...?"

"Back at the food court, I saw that 'savior couple', you know, that blue-haired sword girl and that musclebound racer, the same ones who saved our universe from Galeem and Dharkon, no less? They were talking about what they ordered. Mr. Bounty Hunter wouldn't stop gushing over the fact the taco place brought back those shrimp tacos which he hadn't seen in 9 years, and he kept going on and on _and on _until his girlfriend just went in for a kiss, and once she was done, she told him, 'Babe... just be quiet and enjoy it.' I admire that go-getter quality in her, and you better believe I'm a go-getter too!"

"Well, you could have just found another way to shut me up, don't you think?!" Palutena retorted.

"But the point is, goddess..." Bayonetta drew seductively closer to the Goddess of Light, whispering sensually in her ear, "_You still enjoyed it._"

"...Ah...?!" Palutena felt the blood rush to her face again and could have sworn she felt her knees go a bit weak.

_As shamefully as I must admit it... she's right..._

"S...so what if I did...?" Palutena glanced away out of embarrassment.

"So... what if anyone else found out? Namely, that blonde vampire hunter...?"

"Don't you dare tell him!"

"Ohohohohoho," Bayonetta laughed, somewhat haughtily. "For a goddess, you sure are gullible. I don't think he'd even listen to me anyway, what with him being sworn to fight 'the darkness'." Turning away, she continued, "Oh, but don't worry. This will be our little secret. I promise not to tell a soul."

"You'd better not..." Palutena grumbled.

"Oh trust me, if there's one thing I never do, it's lie. You don't fuck with a witch." She began to walk away before turning back and calling out to the goddess, "You know, if you want some more of this, just hit me up, as the youths nowadays say!"

"As if...!"

...was what Palutena wanted to say, but she just couldn't bring herself to say it. She just watched the Umbran Witch walk off as a feeling of wonder came over her. Once she was all alone, she murmured to herself, "I... I actually think I might do that sometime..."

_**Fin**_

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**for real Taco Bell needs to bring back shrimp tacos they were so heckin GOOD**

**Hope you all enjoyed, hope I nailed Bayonetta's character too even though I feel my Palu is a bit lacking**


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